Life's mystery determined by times of jubilations and frustrations often lead us back to the horizon where once uncertainty reigned supreme over confidence, dilemma outweighed predicament. Very rarely do tears trickle down my cheeks but the last one turned memorable. Browsing through the old word files, I came across the note I wrote down after being disgruntled for being denied the VISA. I came back home disheartened, gloomy faced. I could not control my tears, I sobbed silently. It was a deafening cry. Here are the excerpts of the post-traumatic feelings:
Someone has rightly said that life is not often the warm and mellow tones of the cello. Some incidents that occur in this short journey compel us to encircle ourselves in an atmosphere of apprehension and nervousness. Come what may, we try to evade ourselves from such aching memories but something that remains hidden into the core of heart is never easy to get rid of.
I still remember the day when my happiness knew no bounds. I was jubilant and ecstatic to hear the news. What a day that was. My story of success was announced among a swarm of photographers and journalists. How can I forget the day when I was engulfed in fear and trembling having to receive such a prestigious award. I was awarded 100% full scholarship to study in London for two years, through an organization that has been working in the field of social welfare in Nepal and many other countries. This story of my success later turned tragic when I was denied the VISA on the ground that I could not prove that I was financially strong though I had presented the required documents which proved my financial capability.
It may not be sensible for me to cry over the split milk. I have no option but to contend myself but one thing is sure that having to receive scholarship has been one of the most heinous crimes I have ever committed in my entire life. I have been palm sweatingly terror struck by the horrible news that compelled me to pass many sleepless nights. I have no any complains or whatsoever towards anybody. I was tagged with the medal of a scholarship holder but have been denied the fruit of my success that was purely due to dint of my hard labor.
I can’t figure out any moral from my own story. But, one thing I have learnt is to expect the best but be prepared for the worst too. Should a quality education be the monopoly of only the handfuls? Should Scholarships be granted looking at one’s Bank Balance or other assets? UK has been rooted into my heart not because of the thriving cities and the skyscrapers. I am more than satisfied with what I have and where I am. I would have contributed my country a lot had I got an opportunity to acquire a universally recognized British degree.
We may encounter such traumatic moments anywhere in our lives. A typical Nepali is never free from hardships and misfortunes. Greats are those who learn from mistakes and never panic in extreme situations. Above all; we have no yesterdays, time took them away. We may not have tomorrow but we have today. We ought to believe that winds and waves are always on the sides of ablest navigators, and never turn back from our goals. This is what I learnt from my own experience.
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